


Tower Trouble (Extended Version)

by WinterWitch611



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 03:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterWitch611/pseuds/WinterWitch611
Summary: Bucky and Clint play a prank on Tony with some help from the team. Tony is not amused. He really needs to lighten up!





	Tower Trouble (Extended Version)

“Pepper!! I need you in my office now!! Like, RIGHT NOW!!”

“Why are you yelling?”

“There is an ass print on my desk!! On my desk, Pepper!!”

“Excuse me? Did you say ass print?” She’s trying not to giggle but can’t help herself. “Tony, I don’t think it’s an ass print.”

“Look… look at this,” Tony barks as he points at his desk, “what is going on in my Tower? You’re in charge here, are you not?”

“Yes. Yes, Tony, I’m in charge here.”

“Then you need to put a stop to this. I can’t have meetings that involve the fate of the planet with ASS PRINTS ON MY DESK!!”

“Alright, calm down, I’ll get FRIDAY to pull the surveillance video and see who the offender is,” she’s really trying to stifle her laughter now. “Offenders,” she says under her breath stressing the word should be plural. She has an idea who it may be.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I’m on it, Tony. Relax.”

“Ummm… actually about that.”

“What?”

“I had FRIDAY disable all surveillance in my personal spaces.”

“Why would you do that?? How am I supposed to find out who did this?”

“I have my reasons,” he says while obviously avoiding eye contact. “You’re resourceful. I’m sure you’ll find a way and bring the miscreant to justice.”

She starts to respond and thinks better of it. Why bother? She shakes her head and rolls her eyes instead. “Okay, I’ll do my best,” she says as she begins to exit the office. “Oh and should I have DUM-E bring you some Windex and paper towels for your desk?” She can’t help the giggle that escapes with that comment.

“Bleach! Something with bleach… ya, know what? Have him bring me matches. I’ll just burn it and buy a new one.” Tony is always so dramatic.

Pepper leaves Tony’s office and heads back to her own a few floors down. She’s curious who the devious culprits are, but doesn’t exactly want to stop them just yet. This could be fun to watch unfold. Not to mention Tony needs to lighten up. He’s under so much stress he never stops to have a little fun. Even when he does he becomes easily distracted and everything becomes a crisis.

She takes Tony’s private elevator. As soon as the doors open she sees it. A perfectly formed ass print on the glass just above the hand rail. She covers her mouth and laughs. Oh this is perfect. Tony is going to flip. This shouldn’t be as entertaining as it is, yet here we are.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Pepper enters her office and pours herself a drink. This is the most excitement they’ve had around here lately. Not that she’s complaining. If there’s no reason to call an Assemble then the team is here, safe, just the way she likes it. However, the natives must be getting restless. She sits at her desk, sips her drink and ponders today’s events.

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Miss Potts?”

“Do you have any video that can help me figure out who… umm… _borrowed_ Tony’s desk?”

“I don’t have anything from inside the boss’s office, but I do have the hallway outside his office.”

“Show me.”

A hologram appears in front of Pepper. “I knew it!” she says out loud. She’s already forming a plan as a devious smile spreads across her face.

“Knew what, ma’am?”

“Thank you, FRIDAY. That will be all for now.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Come on, Buck, we’re gonna get busted! Tony is gonna ban us from the Tower.”

“We live here. We can’t get banned.”

“Sure we can. He owns the building. He can throw us out if he wants to.”

“Clint, calm down. Do you think that Steve would allow that? He would cut Tony off and he’d cave within a day, shit... half a day! No way he’s going without some Star Spangled ass for longer than a few hours. I mean, come on, you’ve seen that ass… would you?”

“Okay, fine. Let _Operation: Stark Raving Mad_ continue. But if he catches us I think it’s your ass that’s gonna get kicked, not mine!”

“How do you figure? If he matches up the prints I’m pretty sure it’s your perfect ass that’s gonna be on the line. Mmmmm… speaking of your perfect ass. C’mere, I just thought of somewhere else we can defile.” Bucky flashes his devilish grin and grabs Clint’s hand.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Tony? Are you listening to me? You seem distracted”

“Wha- yeah, yeah I’m listening. What did you say, again?”

“You are definitely not listening. C’mon, Tony, I only need 5 minutes of your precious time.”

“Steve, I’m about to explode. You may want to step back so you don’t get any on you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“There’s a goddamn ass print on that table! LOOK!! Look at this, do you see it?” Tony is about to blow a gasket. He storms over to Steve, grabs his arm, and drags him across the room. “THAT is an ass print! _Someone_ is planting their ass on my things to piss me off or there are two _someones_ that are literally screwing on my things. Either way, whoever it is, is getting re-homed or put down!”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?” Steve wants to laugh but he doesn’t want to enrage Tony any further. He has to turn away so his regain control of his emotions. His smirk will give him away in a second.

“Overreacting? OVERREACTING? First my desk, then my elevator, now my lab. My lab, Steve, my fucking LAB! This is sacred space. How the hell did anyone even get in here??”

“Wait, back up. You didn’t tell me about the elevator.”

Tony is exasperated. He doesn't want to explain he just wants whoever is messing with him to knock it off. “The elevator isn’t important. What’s important is there’s a mutiny afoot. The inhabitants of this Tower are turning against me!” he yells as he pounds his fist on the table.

“Ummm.. Tony, you’re just now figuring that out?” Steve can’t help himself, he chuckles. Tony is not amused.

“Okay, Rogers, OUT! Get out of my lab!” Tony shouts as he shoves Steve toward the door. “I’d expect that from the others but not you.” Once Steve is on the other side of the glass door Tony adds, “and you can blow _yourself_ tonight, too!”  

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Bucky, I think we’re taking this too far.”

“I told you to relax. You know we have help now, right? What’s Tony gonna do, throw us all out?” he asks as he drags Clint along behind him. “There aren’t many people on the planet that can put up with him. Ya think he’ll alienate the ones that can?”

“But his car, Buck. C’mon!” Clint is starting to whine. “Can you at least pick one of the cheaper ones? Not the Audi.”

“Oh... definitely the Audi!”

“I always wondered what actually happens when you die.” Clint gazes up and sighs. “I think we’re going to find out a lot sooner than we ever hoped.”

“Knock it off!” Bucky has has enough of the chatter. He just wants to get his hands on his boyfriend and irritate Tony in the process. “Now, strip!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I guess I should be happy you’re speaking to me again. Where am I taking you to dinner to apologize for my, ‘callous laughter at your expense’?”

“Well, Steve, I figured Masa should do it. I’m hoping that watching you go pale when the check comes will make me feel a little better,” Tony says with a smirk.

“Yeah, I’m sure that will make....”

“OH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” Tony yells, cutting Steve off mid sentence. “That’s it. That. Is. IT!!”

They were almost out of the garage when the light caught the hood of his car in such a way that Tony could see the ass print clear as day. He puts the car in reverse and stomps on the gas pedal. Steve goes flying forward, caught only by his seatbelt, almost hitting his head.

“Jesus Christ, Tony!!” What the hell?”

The car screeches to a stop and Tony begins yelling to FRIDAY for assistance. “FRIDAY, tell every one of the assholes that live in this building to get to the conference room on the twelfth floor. They have fifteen minutes!” He gets out of the car and slams the door. “I mean it FRIDAY. Tell them if I have to come looking for any of them, a repulsor blast will be the last thing they ever see!”

“Yes, boss. Right away,” she responds.

Steve gets out of the car and glares at Tony. “You mind telling me what that was all about?”

“I’ll explain everything in fifteen minutes. Meet me in the conference room.” Tony knows he annoyed Steve with his actions; but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t get a little turned on by that icy glare. He walks over, pushes himself up on his toes and kisses his boyfriend. The kiss is not returned. “Alright, I’m sorry. Okay? I’ve had enough of these shenanigans and it’s gonna stop right now. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. Now stop with the murder glare, it’s turning me on.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Bucky and Clint are the first to arrive in the conference room. They know what this is about, better to just get it over with. Tony must have figured out it’s been them this whole time.

“Well, it was fun while it lasted. Shame though, I really liked living here.”

“Will you stop with the dramatics? He’s not going to kick us out!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Barnes.” Bucky whips his head around to see Nat leaning in the doorway.

“What makes you an authority on Stark’s reactionary measures?” Bucky scoffs.

“For starters, he’s a child, much like the two of you,” Clint gasps at her implication. “and you touched his things. That alone is grounds for a time out… on a different continent.” She struts over to the table and sits down across from Clint. She wants a front row seat for this. “Then there’s the tiny little fact that you’ve been screwing on his things.”

“Not so tiny,” Bucky mumbles under his breath.

“Did you just say they’ve been screwing on Tony’s things?” Steve appears in the doorway looking annoyed. He’s doing his best to give them his **Captain America Is Disappointed In You™** face. Clint gets that _kicked puppy_ look, and Steve can’t hold it in any longer, he actually belly laughs. “You guys are in so much trouble! But this is great! Oh I can’t wait until he gets here!” he says while trying to stifle his laughter. Steve sits down next to Natasha. He must have the same idea about having a front row seat at the _execution_.

Pepper is the next to arrive. “I expect you’re all done packing? I know I am,” she chuckles as she sits.

“See? See, Bucky! I told you!! He’s gonna kick us out.” Clint tries to get up, but Bucky grabs him.

“Sit down, you beautiful disaster. She’s kidding!” Bucky looks at Pepper. “Will you tell him you were kidding before he has a complete meltdown, please?”

“I’m kidding, Clint. Although, you never know with Tony. His temper gets the best of him sometimes.”

“That’s true, Miss Potts, it does.” Tony arrives and he looks pissed. He sits at the head of the table, crosses his arms and leans back. “So, whoever decided it was a good idea to place their naked ass on my belongings needs to come forward now. Either one of you goes or you all go.”

Silence.

“Don’t make me start matching up ass prints. Because I’ll do it! You know I will!”

“Okay Okay. It was me!! All me, just me!” Clint shouts. “I was bored. I just wanted to have a little fun. I’m sorry, Tony. I’ll go pack. I can pack, right? I mean I kinda need my stuff and I would really miss my—”

“He wasn’t alone,” Bucky interrupts Clint’s rambling. “I had a hand in it. Well… my hand, my tongue, my dick… yeah. Let’s just say I was _involved_.”

Someone laughs. Someone else coughs. Tony stands up. “That’s that then. You two have one hour to get your things out of my tower.”

“Ummm, Tony?”

“Don’t start with me, Romanoff. You aren’t talking me out of this.”

“No I wasn’t going to try to talk you out of it. I just wanted to say I’ll go pack too.”

“Did your ass christen my things? No, it was the Blunder Twins over here.”

“Actually, your desk was my idea.”

“And the elevator was mine,” Steve confesses with a smirk.

“I let them into your garage,” Pepper chimes in.

“Everybody out! All of you. OUT!!”

“Tony, don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” Pepper asks. “We were just having a little fun, trying to get you to lighten up.”

“Oh I’m going to lighten up. I’m about to be two Super Soldiers, two master assassins, and CEO light. I can make due with Banner, Thor, and Rhodey; they aren’t traitors. They aren’t in on this little mutiny you all have going right now.” Tony starts to storm out of the room. “FRIDAY, revoke all their access codes,” he adds.

“I can’t do that, boss.”

Tony freezes. “Excuse me? Was that a glitch? Did you just say _no_ to me?”

“You said everyone involved had to go. I let them into your lab. Everyone was having so much fun I wanted to, as well. Sorry, boss.”

It started with a small chuckle that lead to everyone in the room belly laughing.

Tony hangs his head, exasperated by them all.

“See that. Even an AI can sense you need to chill out.” Steve rises from his seat and strides across to the room coming to a stop behind his boyfriend. He places his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “Now, you can stand here sulking or we can go replace Clint’s ass prints with yours.”

Tony’s head snaps up, eyes wide “FRIDAY, hold my calls.”

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Caramell0w
> 
> Masa is a Japanese restaurant in New York City that charges $595 per person for dinner. I figured that would be enough to cause Steve to go pale when the check came!


End file.
